FBI Agent presents at Dads and Donuts: Parent's Guide to Internet Safety

Dads and Donuts will have a special guest on Friday morning as an FBI Supervisory Special Agent comes to talk about things we need to know as dads and parents.

Our guest has a had distinguished career with the FBI and most recently supervised the White Collar Crime and Computer Crime special agents.

She will bring several items for us to take home from the FBI's resources.

She'll also share her story about how her dad has influenced her life's decisions as a Catholic and as a parent. She attributes her success to a strong, supportive, and ever-present father; she applauds each of you for being actively engaged in your sons'/daughters' education, faith, and life.

If my phone conversation with this Agent is any indication of how she'll present the materials to us, then I think we're in for a REAL treat on Friday morning!

Ask anyone at the school if you need help finding us in the Shae Room; we'll be there beginning at 7:45 and ending at 8:30.

Men’s Night Out – Technology and our kids….wrap-up

Thanks to all who attended, we had a great evening of discussion with all things related to internet and cell phones etc.. Below I have attached some links for those who want more info. I would encourage everyone to make comments and suggestions if you have something to add. I also had the opportunity to attend a similar session for KCHS parents last night. From these two evenings, I will pass on the top things I learned. Again, if you have additions or corrections please add your info to the comments section.

1. Computers are not going away and we all need to learn about what is out there on the internet, what are kids are being exposed to, and teaching them about what is “right and wrong” when it comes to using the computer. At KCHS, the presenters gave us a list of over 600 social networking type sites, from around the world. This number does not include other sites with chat rooms etc… these sites are not going away – they make money.

2. Keep the computer in a public place in your home. Even with software that blocks sites etc… kids can intentionally or unintentionally find themselves on sites which are inappropriate. Beware of laptops and of your kids quickly closing down sites as you enter the room.

3. Communicate with your kids. Just like all areas, we need to create/develop relationships with our children, so we can discuss the good, the bad and the ugly of cell phones and the computer. Kids need to be able to come to us to ask questions, report suspicious behavior and cyber-bullying. They also need discipline and oversight to see that they stay on the right path.

4. To spy or not to spy? This topic was of great interest on both evenings. The bottom line from both nights came down to staying informed. Parents need to stay informed on what your child is doing and where they are going on the net. One simple way is to occasionally check the history button on your computers. Another recommendation was to Google your kids on the internet and do this with them. See what information is out there about your child – you will be amazed. Also facebook and my space pages may come up if they have them.

5. Facebook – a great site, but full of potential problems. Facebook is a place for kids (and adults) to stay in touch, create and build friendships, be accepted, join groups and maybe overcome “shyness.” BUT, some other factors should be considered:
a. kids are eager to add friends, apparently higher #’s of friends is “cooler.”
b. only accepted friends can see your info, but they see all info on your site.
c. friends are able to instant message each other – so even if you “check” out your kids site, you won’t see these conversations or who they are with.
d. pictures can be placed on the site, but can also be copied by friends and put on their site. At the high school level, kids are figuring out how to “tunnel” onto sites which are not their friends and getting pictures/information.
e. You can make information available by different settings, but don’t put any info on your site they you don’t want shared or hacked into – ie phone numbers, addresses etc.. just leave them blank.
f. kids are making pages under other kids names and or making up aliases. Be aware.
g. Also, universities and potential employers are using these sites to gain information about candidates.

6. Chat rooms – many sites that are not social networks still have chat rooms. Pandora’s is a popular music site, but also has chat rooms. Chat rooms are a place where kids need to be careful about who they are talking to. These rooms are not screened, are not friends only, and people may not be who they say they are.

7. Cell phones - first, realize that many phones have internet access, your kids may be on facebook etc.. via their cell phone.

8. Texting – it is rampant, one person reported their child at KCHS having 30,000 texts in one month. This communication is also not going away, but you need to stay informed about who your kids are texting. Much debate on this but a few good ideas I picked up: a. consider having family phones, as opposed to individual cell phones – if your child “needs” a phone then they can take one. b. have a time that all cell phones are off, and one idea was to have them in a charger in the parents bedroom. c. check your kids texts – most parents felt the kids should know that the parents have full access to what they are texting. d. pictures/video have become a problem with cell phones. Kids are often sending pictures or posting video on youtube. Often times these contain inappropriate items – around the country kids are being arrested for sending “pornography” and bullying has occurred when one kids picture gets spread around the school/internet. Recently, a girl in Cincinnati committed suicide after her naked picture was posted after it was intended for her boyfriend.

9. “Best version of themselves.” I recently read a book by Matthew Kelly called Building Better Families… This is a great book and I would recommend it highly. Much of his theme is encourage us to help our kids become the best version of themselves. With this, we need to strongly consider how and if technology is making our children “the best version of themselves.” This decision is an individual one, but one we all need to consider as younger and younger children are getting cell phones, getting on the internet, texting etc…

10. What can MASH do? As a community I think we need to work together to keep each other informed on what is going on, what we are seeing on the internet and keeping our kids safe. I would hope that you would let me know if you saw my children involved in something of concern and know that I would do the same. Let's keep talking about all these issues....

Links: http://www.wiredkids.org/wiredkids_org.html -- tons of internet safety info
http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm -- parent info
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/safety2.htm -- k-5 info
http://www.fbi-sos.org/index.cfm?Page=Principal_Teacher -- 5-8 program
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20090322/NEWS01/903220312/-1/TODAY -- this is the tragic story about “sexting”

School Board, Parish Council, & MASH

A big thanks to Brian Rhoades & Cory Bond for shedding new light on several topics for the guys during this past Friday's Dads & Donuts.

We had a really good dialog about the Parish's support of its primary ministry, our school, and how things look for the coming fiscal & academic year.

There are many great things ahead for our kids and now's the time for us to get involved with the school, our children, and the Sacred Heart parish community!

Remember to do something special with your SHCS student on Friday and then come over to the Shae Room near the Paraclete.

Questions? Contact me at dpnaab@charter.net.

See you on Friday!

Dads & Donuts: Board & Parish Council Members Discuss Budgets & SHCS Stewardship

Come join us this Friday, 3/20/09, in the Shae Room after drop-off from 7:45 - 8:30 AM.

MASH members who are also on the Parish Council and the SHCS School Board will discuss:

• The budget shortfall and what it could mean for SHCS families - upcoming town hall meeting and need for volunteers in the near future.
• SHCS Stewardship of tuition and parish/dioceses funds.

We'll have coffee & donuts for everyone.

We'll also discuss upcoming MASH events (Men's Night Out, UT Baseball game, & others)

If you have questions or want to get on our email distribution, send an email to Don Naab at dpnaab@charter.net.

Hope to see you on Friday!

We're building a stronger SHCS community!

Alot going on......

There are lots of events going on with MASH right now, so frequently check out the details at the bottom of this page. Here are the highlights of upcoming events.

Dads and Donuts -- don't forget, every Friday in the Shea room.

Mar 23rd -- Men's Night Out -- Naples in Bearden 6pm
Are your kids cooler online? This is a very timely topic as folks flock to facebook, myspace and are texting like crazy. This will be a laid back evening of discussion and fellowship.

April ___ Men's Night Out -- details to come, but Dr. Rod Briggs will give us an overview of what we should all be aware of when it comes to pro-life and pro-choice issues -- stem cells, partial birth abortion, FOCA will all be on the agenda. Should be a great event..

April 25th is the SHCS Auction -- Home and School should be getting the word out on this one.

April 26th -UT Baseball -- Sunday at 1pm. Join MASH for a great day at the ballpark. The UT baseball team will play Georgia in an SEC game. Thanks to our own Todd Raleigh, kids will have a unbelievable day -- get in free with a paid adult, free hot dog and drink, run the bases after the game and meet the team. Should be great family fun. Tickets will be available soon and will be available at Men's Night Out on the 23rd. Tickets are $5 for adults.

May 18th -- Men's Night Out -- Brewing Your Faith at Calhouns in Bearden. Marty Velas and Deacon David are brewing up a great night to learn about making beer and improving our faith. Should be another great night of fun and fellowship.

Golf Tourney -- never to early to mark your calendars. The annual SHCS golf tourney has been set for October 20th.

Lend a Hand?? -- an editorial

Likely you have received a letter related to this fund from Ms. Prater and if you have children at Catholic High you also received a letter from Mr. Sompyrac. If you are like me, these letters are combined with letters related to many other fundraisers and worthy causes which you have supported in the past. With these letters, bailout funds and the “stimulus” package, I must honestly admit it all seems a bit overwhelming. My initial reaction was frustration and a sense of exasperation. My frustration and exasperation were not for these families but came from my own worries of how all these things were going to impact me. Not very Christian, I know, but my initial reaction were thoughts of rising tuition, rising taxes, and more requests for bailout funds. Where is it going to end?
Then I spoke to Deacon David and emailed Sedonna Prater and began to reflect on the opportunity before us. Yes, a great opportunity that this “lend a hand fund” offers.

Deacon David and Ms. Prater relayed to me that there are many families in our parish and in our diocese who are going through tremendous financial struggles. These families have to make difficult choices and one of these difficulties is whether they can afford to keep their children in Catholic schools. This fund was developed rather quickly as many have realized the rather sudden financial crisis that faces our nation. Our community is not immune to these struggles. Deacon Dave informed me that this fund is an emergency fund that will go to families in our parish and in our diocese to help offset tuition costs. These funds will offer hope and assistance to those in most need.

Hence, being humbled by this reality, and putting aside my own issues, I began to reflect on several questions and see the great opportunity before us:

First and foremost, what is God calling us to do in our lives? Clearly, we are called to love God and love others. What greater love than to offer hope to those in need, especially to those in need in our very own community? I was listening to a reflection about the story of the paralytic man who was lowered through the roof and was healed by Jesus (Mark 2: 1-12). We often focus on the healing power of Jesus and this man’s faith. But this reflection challenged us to consider the four unnamed men who cut the hole in the roof and lowered this man in need down to be healed by Jesus? What an opportunity to ask ourselves if we can humbly offer to help others in time of need………….

Second, how important is Catholic education? Clearly, these families and their children could go elsewhere to learn reading, writing and arithmetic, so what is different about a Catholic education? What a great opportunity for us to reflect on why we send our children to SHCS. How important is it? What is the difference? Take some time and reflect on this question yourself. For me, I have to look no farther than last Friday when my eighth grade son invited me to attend Eucharistic Adoration with him. Every first Friday, the eighth grade students spend 20 minutes each in silent prayer and reflection before the Blessed Sacrament. Words could never describe, nor value assessed, on these 20 minutes I spent kneeling and praying with my son. What an opportunity to reflect on the true value of Catholic education….

Finally, can I afford to help? Everyone is worried about their own home value, mortgage payment and rising bills and I am no exception. However, we are called to place God and others first, again what a great opportunity for us. For me, I began to look at the funds I spend on my kids own extracurricular activities. Like so many, we are spending a tremendous amount of money on these privileges. I am humbled to think about the funds we spend on competitive sports with the fees, travel, dining out etc… Can I really say that I cannot afford to help those in need as we continue to fill our wants? What a great opportunity to reflect on what are our wants and what truly are others needs……….

I would encourage each and everyone of you to consider these questions. Humble yourself and recognize what a great opportunity this “Lend a Hand” fund holds for you to do what you can to help your community in need. Just think about what you can do. Thanks to Deacon David and Ms. Prater for their work on this very important endeavor and giving us this opportunity to help.

March Madness - Huge Success

Gentlemen,
Congratulations on a wonderful turnout for March Madness on Friday. The turnout was tremendous and the Mass Celebration was packed with so many fathers, that the choir loft was full and many were standing in the vestibule. The estimate was approximately 125 Dad's in attendance.
Thanks to all who participated and to Steve Plenzler for his once again superb organization of the entire day. Joe Champelli is pictured enjoying March Madness with his daughter Audrey.
Remember, our goal is to make first Fridays a day for Dads to attend mass with their children, it doesn't have to be just March. Also, for those unaware, during first Friday Mass, Fr. Al exposes the monstrance with the eucharist and the 8th grade class rotate students all day for Eucharistic Adoration. I had the great pleasure of praying for 20 minutes with my son on Friday. I was quite surprised and impressed to see how these students truly enjoy and appreciate the privelege of silent prayer. If you get a chance, I would highly encourage it for everyone.

Dads & Donuts continues to build!

Last week we saw new faces once again with great discussion about topics such as how internet & pop-culture issues (e.g., facebook, craigslist, myspace, DVRs) challenge us as dads & families. We're going to broach this specific topic again in more depth on March 27th.

Upcoming Fridays, 7:45 - 8:30 AM:

• Mar 6th - 1st Friday Mass @ 8:05 AM (no coffee & donuts)
• Mar 13th - SHCS Principal Sedonna Prater: questions, answers, discussion
• Mar 20th - SHCS School Board & Parich Council reps: Q/A/D
• Mar 27th - The Internet in our homes: security & parenting

Remember, Dads & Donuts is all about the Dads creating some extra-special time before school to have a donut (or some other treat) with their SHCS student(s) to build relationships and memories. After you've dropped them off, please come join us in the Shae Room (or Mass) for fellowship and information.

We'll be there every Friday from 7:45 - 8:30 AM, Shae Room or Mass. Come whenever you can as often as you can!

We're building a stronger SHCS community!!!